A Month of Limericks, #5 "A citizen's board in Duluth"

Another limerick based on the name of an Upper Midwest city.

A citizen's board in Duluth
Was asked to determine the truth.
"How will they test us
To see if asbestos
Is affecting the teeth of our youth?"

A Month of Limericks, #4 "A decorous man from Decorah"

Years ago, for reasons I don't completely remember, I did a series of limericks celebrating the cities in which Minnesota Public Radio had stations at the time. Over the next few days, I'll publish some of them and perhaps add some for the more recent stations.

A decorous man from Decorah
Once sported a feathered fedora.
When they ask "What is that?"
He replied "It's a hat
Embellished with fauna and flora."

A Month of Limericks, #3 "Roman Holiday - A Bit Pre-Halloween Nonsense"

An American tourist in Rome
Lost his way in an old catacomb.
He was found by a ghost
Who made coffee and toast,
And soon he was feeling at home.

A Month of Limericks, #2 "Aubade? Oh Bad!" ( Two Versions)

Version #1

What's that sound that you hear in the distance
With annoying repeating persistence?
When I have been sleeping
It takes that much beeping
To break through my morning resistance.

.







Version #2

What's that sound that you hear in the distance
With annoying repeating persistence?
My alarm in the morn,
Like the sound of a horn,
Bringing consciousness back to existence.

A Month of Limericks, #1 "Cold Shoulder"

It’s a miserable fact about autumn:

There are colds to be caught, and I’ve caught ‘em -

My words cannot tell

Of my symptoms from hell –

But you’ll know what I’ve got when you got ‘em.

En Gardy

Shout Huzzah! And party hearty!

Say farewell at last to Gardy.

Gone the tantrums on the field.

When a call goes unappealed.

Gone those hoary sports clichés

When a player misses plays.

Gone the slow and dreary drone,

Of Gardy’s postgame monotone.

Gardy, Gardy, it was fun

When you had a team that won,

But it’s now been years and years

Since a winner heard our cheers.

If the team is uninspired

Then it’s time that you were retired.

Here is my retirement wish:

May you catch a lot of fish.

Envoi to the Twins

Now complete what you’ve begun.

Let’s not stop at only one.

On the phone, and double quick

Fire his compadre Rick!

To Doodlely Do

There is an app that keeps a list
Of things that must be done,
Appointments that I might have missed,
What’s finished, what’s begun.

My calendar, my schedule too,
Are synched up to the minute;
If there is something I should do
It knows when to begin it.

It’s linked up to my Facebook wall,
It’s synched up with LinkedIn,
Reminds me where and when to call,
And when and where I’ve been.

For home, for work, in calm, in stress,
Each task, each thing, each chore.
It’s perfect, but I must confess ---
It’s easy to ignore.