Another Series of Alphabetical Limericks, #2 "B is for Behold!"

Behold! the Avonian Bard -
Ill-favor'd, ill-omen'd, ill-starr'd -
While fresh from a bar, Lo!
See Jonson and Marlowe
Lurch roaringly drunk through his yard!

Another Series of Alphabetical Limericks, #1 "A is for Academical"

An arcane alphabetical list
Was arranged to provide an assist
To tenure-bound critics
Who write analytics
In a deep academical mist.

Alphabetical Limericks #26 "Z is for Zebra... and Zen"

A zebra was sleepless at night
With a Zen existentialist plight.
Were the stripes on his back
Colored white over black?
Or reversed, i.e., black over white?

Alphabetical Limericks #25 "Y is for Yvette"

A Yugoslav lass named Yvette
Was a puzzle to men that she met.
They didn't, in fact,
Know how to react
To a Serbo-Croation soubrette.


A second version hinges on the probably too arcane fact that "tête-a-tête" can legitimately be pronounced in two different ways in English.  For better or worse, here it is.


A Yugoslav lass named Yvette
Faced a fate she would always regret:
Her bi-national traits
Worked against têtes-a-têtes,
And also against tête-a-tête.

Alphabetical Limericks #24 "X is for Xerxes"

The battle swords Xerxes was buried with,
The ones that he eXpertly parried with,
Allowed him a range
Of blades to eXchange,
In eXacting gradations of varied width.

Alphabetical Limericks #23 "W is for Whitsuntide" (what else?)

Whitsuntide #1

The crowd at the Whitsuntide service
Was so small that the vicar was nervous.
"I've never denied
That the Lord will provide,
But the week is so bleak - Saints preserve us!"


Whitsuntide #2 

The flock at the Whitsuntide rite
Was dismayed that the Bishop was tight.
The obvious sign
That he'd had too much wine
Was the limerick he chose to recite.

Alphabetical Limericks (continued at long last) #22 "V is for Visiting Venice"

V is for Visiting Venice

When Vivian visited Venice
She vetted a venue for tennis.
The court that she found
Had canals all around,
Which made every volley a menace.